Breakup Heartbreak

It seems unbelievable what impact heartbreak can have on your life. Something that was perfect the day before, or last month or maybe a year ago can now be completely empty and meaningless. Heartbreak is powerful and at some point it isn’t just an emotion any longer, not something you ‘have to go through’. It appears to fill up your entire being and seems to be getting stronger too. Every space of your being is filled with it. It’s your companion, you go to sleep with it, wake up with the feeling, it’s behind your eyes when you talk to people and of course making you cry the moment you hear music on the radio.

Heartbreak, when it is crippling, seems to take on a life of its own. Having fun just doesn’t seem an option anymore. You are grieving and most people don’t understand because your loved one hasn’t died. It’s different from the sadness that you experience when somebody close to you passes away but it can still be just as painful and maybe even more so. In a way, you are grieving for the loss of what could have been. There was a while when you believed that you found ‘your person’. You thought ‘this is it’. Somebody you loved somebody who was there by your side. Then, suddenly, it’s all gone. Happiness, then a breakup and then a feeling of depression that you don’t seem to get away from. You do your best to get on. You check the computer for help, maybe go to parties, and have some dates, but none of it works. Still heartbroken.
The probability that you wake up one morning being ‘fine’ is unlikely; it happens but it’s rare. Usually we heal in small steps. You may suddenly notice that your pillow wasn’t wet when waking up or find yourself laughing at something you heard on TV. Eventually there will be more of these moments. There will still be days when you suddenly burst out crying or when you find yourself in pieces walking down the same streets you walked with your love. Small steps and you are getting better. This is the reason heartbreak is so very painful because the steps are usually small often not noticeable. It’s important to remember that nothing ever lasts and even this awfulness won’t last forever. The world is going on, you are still living and you are ok.
It can be helpful to have someone to help you through this process, someone who isn’t family or a friend and who can coach you to the next step. If you would like some help please feel free to email or phone me on 01482 870874